When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
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I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
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you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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