I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize