I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
