An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
You are the jesus of drinking
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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