Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Its about making memories worth repressing
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think your dad took our porno
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
