If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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