Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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