I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize