I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
