i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
