I can tuck mytits in my pants
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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