At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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