i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
