I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
