When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
