As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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