I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
