While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
