Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
