I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
so let's talk penis.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
