Got a toothbrush?
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
