I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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