She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
