one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize