sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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