Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize