Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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