Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
so let's talk penis.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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