you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I didn't notice because vodka
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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