She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
my liver is dry heaving
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize