I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
