Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
