I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
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Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
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Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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