I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
