at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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