Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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