The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part