Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me