At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
