worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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