i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
