Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
