So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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