The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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