The maid of honor just puked.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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