I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Randomize
