you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Boobs speak an international language.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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