so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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