I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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