halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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