Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
