I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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