I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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