I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
birth control should be required to get into college
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
