i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
