You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
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He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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