No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
