So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
These tits shall not be calmed
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
